duck farts

I should have heeded the warning my google search produced. When looking for pictures under "duck fart" I came across a picture of a gentleman passed out in the back of a car titled "king of the duck farts".

WARNING. WARNING. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

And, I also learned the drink should be made with 3/4 ounce of each Kahlua, Baileys and whiskey NOT 1 1/2 ounces of each!

Guess what? I can blame this on Cami too! *hic*

nearing completion

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a button band! Well, half a button band. If the movie selection on the Hallmark channel holds, we'll have a sweater in a few hours! Now if Ashley would stay home long enough to model it for me sans clothespins!
Ya'll just don't know how freakin' amazing this is!

one more

I'm sure I can blame this on Cami

I've been busy tonight making Valentines.

I mentioned to Cami that I wanted to volunteer at our local humane society. I'm an animal lover. It made sense to me. She said, "Why on earth would you want to do that?" (those who know her, can't you just hear it?!) So I explained how I was an animal lover and I was looking for some worthy cause to which I could donate my time. It made sense to me. Well she had other ideas. Better ideas. ;) She said, "Why not call local nursing homes and see about taking your dog in as a visitor? I think your time would be much better spent working somewhere they aren't euthanizing animals." So I got on the horn and made a few phone calls.

How do we get from dog visits to Valentines you might ask. Here's where I'm blaming Cami. I went in for a volunteer orientation. Seems all they need to allow a dog to visit is their vaccination records. Good deal. Any of my dogs would be great for the job but I'm thinking Sadie, my Golden Retriever would be the best received. Back to Valentines. The director asks if I have any other talents I might like to share. So I went down the list:

singing, cooking, reading, paper crafting . . . he interrupts with a raised brow and a wiggle in his seat (he was a little gay) - paper crafts?

Here's where the Valentines come in. I said, "Well, I suppose I could come in with some simple card designs so the folks could make some greeting cards." He pounced.

So here's what I've come up with so far. The complicated parts of the cards will be pre-assembled. He only expects eight at the most (probably more like five) so it won't be too time consuming to do. What do you think? Cute? Simple enough?

And this is what it looks like when creative juices flow all over my desk. No wonder I don't craft too often! Somebody (me) has to clean up this mess!

oh yeah, inspiration from 2Peas, like always.

got milk?

you'll need some if you make this cake.

I decided to take my own pictures after all because while the stock photo was nice, It doesn't really show off this cake. Anyone who knows me knows I love me some pretty food and this cake? It's prom queen pretty.
Why anyone would buy a cake mix is beyond me. Do you know, most of the necessary ingredients can be found in most pantries? Well, my pantry anyway - flour, sugar, eggs, etc.

And let me just say, this recipe seriously ROCKS. Ken's exact words were, "Man! This is GOOD!" But you'll be needing some milk.

cooks note: I'd cook this a little less next time, maybe 30 minutes. The edges were too done for me but Ken said, "It's perfect." :)
Oh, and forget the whole 'let stand 30 minutes' thing. I can't imagine why you'd need to. Besides, you turn your back on this baby and it's gonna be gone baby gone!

what's cooking tonight

From food and wine. And yes, this is a snagged photo. Only because I don't have a lovely wooden cake pedestal.

I was bored. It was either this or drink myself silly and so far, Ken isn't opening the bottle of Gentleman Jack he got for Christmas. What's he waiting for?! Maybe cake? :)

CAKE
3 cups sifted all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs, at room temperature

FROSTING
1/2 pound unsalted butter, softened
1 large egg yolk (optional)
1 pound confectioners’ sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy cream
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Pinch of salt

MAKE THE CAKE:

Preheat the oven to 350°. Butter two 9-by-2-inch round cake pans and line with parchment paper; butter and dust with flour. In a bowl, mix the 3 cups of flour, baking powder and salt. In a cup, mix the milk with the vanilla.
In a standing mixer fitted with the paddle, beat the butter at medium speed until light and creamy. Add the sugar and beat until fluffy, 4 minutes. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the bowl. Beat in the dry ingredients in 3 batches, alternating with the milk mixture and scraping down the bowl.
Scrape the batter into the pans. Bake in the lower third of the oven for about 35 minutes, until springy. Let cool for 15 minutes, then run a knife around the edges and invert onto a rack. Peel off the paper, turn the cakes upright and cool completely.

MAKE THE FROSTING: In a standing mixer fitted with the whisk, beat the butter and egg yolk at medium-high speed until creamy. Beat in the sugar at low speed. Beat in the cream, vanilla and salt, then beat at medium-high speed until fluffy, 3 minutes longer.
Spread 1 cup of frosting over a cake layer and top with the second layer; frost the top and sides. Let stand 1 hour; serve.

what's cooking

Caramel Popcorn

1 cup butter

2 cups brown sugar

1/2 cup corn syrup

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

5 quarts popped popcorn

Preheat oven to 250°. Place popcorn in a very large bowl. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Stir in brown sugar, corn syrup and salt. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Boil without stirring 4 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in soda and vanilla. Pour in a thin stream over popcorn, stirring to coat. Place in two large shallow baking dishes and bake in preheated oven, stirring every 15 minutes, for 1 hour. Remove from oven and let cool completely before breaking into pieces.
from allrecipes.com

Oh yeah, the sock? It's finished:

the heel, it's flapping

I posted the last picture with no words, because really, words were unnecessary, don't you think? And, I was just posting the picture for Cami who was chomping at the bit to see how this lovely yarn was going to knit up.

This is Lorna's Laces in the Tuscany colorway. I love the stripey-ness of the leg but I'm not keen on the way the heel is pooling. It looks totally different from the leg of the sock and that's bugging me a bit. But, I'll leave it to knit up and see how the finished project looks. If I don't like it, I can always wear this sock with my lone Tofutsies sock.

Tuscany

paper crafting

G is for:

Grizz. Grizzly Bear. Grizzy. Grizzers. Little Bubby or Bub (Ruger, our Rottie is Big Bubby/Bub)

It's completely unnatural how much I love this little dog. We're Rottweiler owners for Pete's sake! He's supposed to be a Shih Tzu. My vet looked at me over his glasses when I said that. My groomer said, "Well, maybe his grandmother was a Shih Tzu."

I both love and hate to tell the story of how we came to have such a little ball of cuteness: Petland. I know. I know. I'm so ashamed! We went in to buy dog food and look at the puppies. Ken saw this little guy and had to have him. "He looked at me!"

To which I reply: "Stay out of the tittie bars, will ya?"

HA!

He is a love. He's a little shit, Ken says. And then I correct him, "Shih Tzu!" Mmmmm Hmmm.

my baby's got the blues

A blue sweater, that is!

I wanted to try it on her just to see how it fit. I was going to use pins, the clothespins were her idea. I had to get a picture of this. Too funny.

And it fits like a dream. I'm so proud of myself. She loves it.

I'm nervous about seaming it together and I've heard nightmarish stories about button bands but onward I go!

I love knitting. How many times in your life do you absolutely amaze yourself? With knitting it's every. day.

hal-le-lu-jah

I swear I heard that Messiah song playing at 11:30 tonight. I finished the major knitting on the blue cardigan! I have a back, two fronts and two sleeves. That, my friends, equals one sweater!

I couldn't talk Ashley into letting me pin it to her just for a picture. Seems she had a hard night at work. Excuse me? I've been knitting all. day. for. you.
Brat.

And I still have the last two episodes of Sex and the City to watch. Good timing, I'd say!

Now, tonight, I can sleep like a bebeh.

Cami - I'm gonna need that grafting lesson like soon. Don't you dare get sick!

Pictures soon, promise!

the other sock - don't look mom!

I came home from a wonderful day with my knittas at Clementine's to THIS. Seems Grizz needed a new toy while I was gone and chose the remaining ball of Tofutsies I had waiting to become a second sock.

I attempted an unravel only to call Cami nearly in tears. Seems she has a super-magic method to unraveling a mess such as this that begins with a ziploc and my freezer and ends with a Xanax. Can I have the Xanax now, please?

And, as if this wasn't enough, I went to make my bed (because I ran out of here in a mad dash to be a stunt knitter for Clementine it wasn't made this morning) to find a wet spot in the middle! Get your mind out of the gutter, folks it was my DOG. Seems he had it in for me the minute I walked out the door this morning. Good thing he's cute.

I'm thinking my day needs to end with a bottle of good Merlot.

*hic*